Making Cookies :)

So with my ankle still hurt there's not much we can really do, but making cookies always makes Gracie happy! :) Especially when she can sneak some chocolate chips out of the bag when I'm, "not looking!"

Old Pics that Need to be Posted!

So here are some pictures that need to be posted from the past few months...sledding, play dates with Kelly, Gorgoza Park tubing with the

Grossmans...etc...

And here are a few of my favorite baby photos of Gracie...

And...Here are some of my favorite baby photos of Gracie :) Look closely at the ultrasound picture...it's Gracie's face and unfortunately she is flipping the camera off!

My Daughter's Crazy Hair...From Day 1 !!!!

So since I started this blog I decided it wouldn't be fair if I didn't add a few pictures of what defined my daughter from day 1...her hair! At the hospital, they put a red bow, not pink, in her hair and it was stuck there for almost a week. Gracie didn't get a hat from the hospital...and she was born right smack in the middle of winter! I guess they thought her hair would keep her warm! Anyway...She had mohawk (sp?) for the first 9 months of her life! No matter what I did, it would just stick straight up. Not only that, but it was jet black! Funny, funny, coming from a blonde family! Here are some pictures...Enjoy!

Our New Fish!!!!

So Gracie had a fish about a year ago and he tragically ended up accidently being dumped down the kitchen disposal during a cleaning...seriously it was an accident and I screamed for 5 minutes not knowing what to do, and unfortunately I couldn't find, "Spunky!" Our new fish was named, "Girl," for about a minute and then she became, "Elle," the name we have stuck with. We bought her today with the sister of one of the kids I work with (which is why the fish is named Elle because this little girl has a fish named Elle as well :) ). So here she is!!!! You have to search to find her! :)

Kangaroo Zoo

So my sister-in-law invited Gracie and me to Kangaroo Zoo today... Gracie had a blast with her cousin, Reagan while I limped around like an idiot :)

So I made a huge mistake! I said, "I can't walk," in front of Gracie (I have hurt my ankle extremely bad) and now she is paranoid because of my brother using a wheelchair! Poor thing! And of course, I feel like an idiot!

So I am totally new to this blog deal, but I thought I'd update everyone who reads this on Gracie. I am going to list a bunch of random facts about her in case anyone wants to know...if not, here they are anyway :)

-She loves, loves, loves, purses and bags...I have to turn her the other way if they are in a store. This includes the cheapest, most hideous gift bags. If it's a bag, my Gracie girl wants it!

-Now that she's potty trained she doesn't think she needs underwear as well as diapers. I have to tell her that her cousin wears underwear to get her to put them on.

-She loves her, "Papa," (grandpa). Ever since he went back to CA she has been saying, "No___, I want Papa," to everyone!

-She insists that her name is only, "Acie Tyer Lund," and you cannot call her anything else or she will correct you.

-Tonight she informed me that Papa was, "texting" me! what?!!!! I haven't ever used that word around her!

-She loves, loves, loves the kids I work with along with their parents and siblings. She makes up stories about each of them.

-She thinks that pajamas should be worn EVERYWHERE! I have to tell her that certain places won't let her wear them...of course I let her wear them if it's to the store,etc. Gotta choose your battles!

-She thinks that everyone says, "oh my heck!" and if you ask her what someone will say if they see something, this is her response.

Yes you all have to deal with a few more poems! I pulled my books out of a box a few weeks ago and found these that I wrote about Autism...They were some of my first, so please be nice :) Thanks for reading! :)

11/19/02

“Innocent Child”

Innocent child
Forced to live this life
Unable to speak his mind,
Restricted from expression,
He fights to find the reason
Why this world has no exceptions.

Creative mind
Wishing to be free,
Unaware of judgments
And the rules of our society
He cannot comprehend
Why he can’t just be.

Robotic words
Released from his mouth,
Cut off from his own language,
Forced to memorize our sounds.
(To this ritual he is bound).

Gazing eyes
Wandering the room
Seeing what he wants to,
Not what we believe he should,
If he could only tell us,
Without a doubt he would.

Shaking head,
His screaming voice
Rattles against the windows,
He shows us his frustration
Believing life should be one’s own creation.

Innocent child
Born into this world,
We shape him to be invisible.
To conform is to belong,
But in his mind
This is wrong.

11/7/03

“Visibility”

A child speaks through his words of aberration,
Resisting, rejecting
The invisibility which surrounds.
Who’s to say
His life is not a way?
Expressing what he knows,
What he’s learned
(Meaningless words from our lips that he’s heard”,
Echoing the joys he has seen on t.v.,
Replaying the events
From those moments when we’ve permitted him to be free,
Only to be stopped,
Redirected
From who he desires to be.
Silently sitting,
Sometimes with a scream,
Wondering if we will ever cease,
Allow him to return
To the place we made him leave.
Molding and shaping,
Inventing our creation,
Too afraid to embrace
The slightest deviation.
He’s left alone,
Solitude for a second,
But he’s caught,
Behavior must be corrected,
Intrinsic reinforcement
Once again redirected,Afraid by his visibility, that we will be infected

9/18/04

“His Song”

A child sits,
Words filter through his mind,
Decoding their meaning
Has become his test of time.
A scream develops,
Leading to a cry,
He stares deep into our eyes,
A blank look
He tries desperately to untie.
A hit to the head,
A slam to the wall,
A scratch to the face
Before his graceful fall.
His words he feels are useless,
His sounds he feels are wrong,
What he’s come to learn
Is no one wants to understand his song.

So I went running today and I'm about 8 blocks short of where I was running 4 years ago. Wohoo! Hopefully I can push through it next time.

So we had a great weekend! We all went to Jungle Jim's at Gracie's request and spent the whole day there! Gracie and her cousin, Reagan went a little crazy on the bumper cars and couldn't stop! I thought it was funny enough to post the video! Gracie was so worn out that she fell asleep at 6:00pm last night and slept until 9:00 this morning!

So, as some of you may know, I used to write quite a bit. I have not written much in the past few years, but am starting to get back into the swing of things. Here are the first 2 poems I wrote after 3 years of absolutely nothing! Nicole...you will understand that 3 years is a long time! The first one is for my daughter and the second one is about my brother and his accident.


12/3/08

“Gracie”

I gaze at your silhouette
As you calmly sleep,
Thinking about the day you emerged
Erasing an agonizing past.
I’m in awe of who you’ve become,
A delicate, precious soul
With a magnetic personality and ambitious dreams.
I want for you to capture your aspirations and desires,
Confront your struggles,
And sweep your fears aside.
Become the beautiful ballerina
Who you’re so determined to be.
Society’s rules won’t break you down
(as they did me)
You have the power, strength, and passion
To embrace life head on
And live out your graceful song


12/3/08

“Matt”

The moment that forever altered your life
Became the call that transformed mine

Then there was the interlude between time
Before, “paralyzed” came to mind
Waiting to hear what the outcome would be
Not knowing you would turn bleak
Into promising
I won’t ignorantly say that I can comprehend
The trauma and pain which played out for days,
But I could almost taste the tears that rolled from your eyes
As only once, I saw you cry.
I wondered why
It was you not me,
I was the one who always acted carelessly.
Perseverance and tenacity
Appeared to be stimulated
With the breaking of nerves,
You spread closeness throughout our family
Which had never been heard
You have turned a weakness into a strength
Breathing, existing, surviving,
Maintaining, improving,
Evolving, inspiring
Motivating me to better myself
As I watch you flourish and thrive
Turning this puzzle, this mystery
Into a significant life.

One very important fact about Gracie...

She is now potty trained day and night! I would like to thank PEZ for all their help!

So here are a few pictures and a little about Gracie and me...

I am a single mother to a beautiful 2 year old girl named, Gracie Tyler Lund. I love her more than I could have ever imagined I could ever love somebody. She means everything to me and I am so lucky to have her! I am working as a behavioral therapist for children who have Autism. I have been doing this for about 6 years and absolutely love it. I learn so much from the kids and their families. Once again, I am lucky to have the job that I do.

I have had my struggles just as most people have and I believe I have overcome a lot in my life. I'm all about spreading awareness, so if I ever post something on here that makes you wonder why the hell I would let everyone know that about me, it's only because I hope that someone else can learn something from it...just a little warning :) I'm proud of who I am and not afraid to say how I got this far.